swingtheserenade:

you know since “fuck” and other swears have become such a regular part of my vocabulary they’ve begun to lose impact

so instead I’ve come to realize I’m using non swear words like “heck” for some sort of twisted ironic emphasis 

I have come full circle

dajo42:

"tea is just leaf water!" "yeah well coffee is just bean water!" wow, it’s. it’s like everything is made of things. this door is just wood rectangle. this poster is just ink paper. this lemonade is just lemon water. wow, it’s like you can combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation. sure is a magical world we live in

humorking:

SO IM AT THE BUS STATION AND THIS GIRL TAPS MY SHOULDER AND SHES LIKE “are you the guy from tumblr?” AND IM LIKE “i guess” AND SHES LIKE “i follow your blog and my boyfriend *points at him* saw your selfie page and he said he would fuck you” I LAUGHED SO HARD AND SAID “thanks man means a lot” AND HE JUST SAID “no homo cutie” THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER I LOVE YOU GUYS