my dad accidentally called me dad once
you know since “fuck” and other swears have become such a regular part of my vocabulary they’ve begun to lose impact
so instead I’ve come to realize I’m using non swear words like “heck” for some sort of twisted ironic emphasis
I have come full circle
guys remember when Lemony Snicket filled an entire page with evers?
Who cares about the page filled with evers? Lemony Snicket just made two whole pages black.
He don’t give a shit.
And that time he repeated an entire passage about deja vu to give the reader deja vu
What a serious of unnecessary events
i understand that you cant stop miley but you need to
"tea is just leaf water!" "yeah well coffee is just bean water!" wow, it’s. it’s like everything is made of things. this door is just wood rectangle. this poster is just ink paper. this lemonade is just lemon water. wow, it’s like you can combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation. sure is a magical world we live in
SO IM AT THE BUS STATION AND THIS GIRL TAPS MY SHOULDER AND SHES LIKE “are you the guy from tumblr?” AND IM LIKE “i guess” AND SHES LIKE “i follow your blog and my boyfriend *points at him* saw your selfie page and he said he would fuck you” I LAUGHED SO HARD AND SAID “thanks man means a lot” AND HE JUST SAID “no homo cutie” THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER I LOVE YOU GUYS
when your parents are telling embarrassing stories about you to other people